everybody fucked!

semua orang dalam dunia ni tak betul! aku sorang jer betul!

o c t t w e l v e

i still keep counting the days - less than a month and i can't wait for it - see u on this oct 12, yuna...

currently addicted to : yuna

deeper conversation...

And if you don't mind, can you tell me all your hopes & fears? And everything that you believe in. Would you make a difference in the world? I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation. Only you can make me....




Does your name rhyme with mine?






currently thinking of : yuna...

roket

hahahahah!!! dah lama tak masuk kat sini....dah lama tak menaip....kekangan masa membuatkan diri ini tidak mampu untuk menulis di blog ini...aahhhh!!! tapi kali ni lain....kembali menulis sebab yuna! yuna lah yang membuatkan aku kembali menulis balik...serius! camner nak buat nih! mad about yuna!huhu...you're like a rocket in my mind that's waiting to define everything about me no one knows. and you stick like a poster on my wall, as if you don't wanna move. yuna for life!

yuna, see u on oct 12...

think is a question, do is an answer

i woke up late with a stinging pain in the eye - not having enough sleep and rest - it's all because of the bang bang boom mlm thingy last night - i reach office and browse the internet first thing in the morning - i'm not doing my job - i'm searching about this mlm product - i'm very keen to know about their advantage - for some reasons, i really hate what was happened last night - i hate greedy people who force other people to join like there is no tomorrow - finally, i found out an anti-this product blog - got so many cases including 2 tribunal cases - i keep on browsing and end it up just a few minutes before - if i have a chance to do a social work, i'd like to give a speech to all those greedy people and waking them up to real life - i'd rather be a barista and get paid for my hardwork than persuade people to invest some money for their own sake - end of story

p.s : can't imagine how stupid i am couldn't drink even a drop of water and taste just a single of rice.hahahahah...they really got me.
French United Connection Kingdom!

defragmentation of my brain cell

isolation - this is my meditation - floating in a space of nowhere - in a way of defragmenting my brain cell - this is what i do to persuade myself - i really have a great time while doing this

currently addicted to : quickie express

jatuh cinta

- perasaan aneh bernama cinta - datang sendiri dari hati -

- aku jatuh cinta - dengan alam maya - rimbun pohon - hijau rumput - air tasik - aku damai -

- aku jatuh cinta - dengan bangunan roboh tak habis - era koloni - lampu biru - peninggalan penjajah - aku tenang -

- aku jatuh cinta - dengan buaian besi - sofa dawai - tembok bata - kura-kura - aku bebas -

- aku jatuh cinta - dengan lantai kayu - koi putih - the french are everywhere - parler la langue de l'amour - aku terapung -

- aku jatuh cinta - dengan taman ini -

-aku jatuh cinta - dengan taman seni.

-sentul park-

08051817

build up so hard it crush me everyday

sometimes, some things are better left unspoken, some things are better left undone...


now watching : go fug yourself

dua puluh kotak mancis

well, some things in this world you just can't change - some things you can't see until it gets too late - some things in this world they don't make sense - something you don't leave until they leave you

i got a hole in me now - i got a scar i can talk about



now playing : bright light

renovasi di dalam progres

when i say resurrection i means i reincarnate myself. the rebirth of soul in new body. i'm concentrating for this coming may10. showing up my skills to the public is something that related with my dignity too anyways so i have to brush-up my rusty skills. besides that, i have to do my works and my photo processing which i try not to exceed the deadline. so there's no time for me to update my blog, myspace, my fotopages and other things that has something to do with me over the internet. people, didn't bring up myself to date doesn't mean i have a boring life. i have more interesting life apart from the internet. ya, i admit i can't live without it but that doesn't meant my life are totally depending on it. so people, let me meditate for a while and don't worry, i'll be back soon when my 'renovasi di dalam progres' is done.



what's repeating in my playlist now : songs from ozzy osbourne, sting and black sabbath.

resurrection!

for the first time - after one and half years - back in action - don't know if i still can do it or not - may10 - mcpa hall - pesawat - insya'allah - see you there...





now playing : sekontena boneka by fathull (fathullistiwa soundscapes)
now addicted : cinta koma

one day, i'm going to grow wings, a chemical reaction

"one day, i'm going to grow wings, a chemical reaction" - radiohead lyrics, 'let down' from the album 'ok computer' - this quotes keep playing in my head while i was driving back home -growing up to be an angel is one of the miracle things that could happen in a life - achieving something beyond expectation makes you feel that you're something to this world - it might be special - but i don't know either it is a special in a good way or not - for me, it is the hardest things to have in my life - i always failed to get the sweetest things no matter how hard i try - there must be something else in the middle that makes my journey didn't reach it's destination - for this time, i keep trying but as usual, things will be the same again - should i retreat or should i surrender? no, i must keep going - i know god hear me.... thank you....



what's in my dvd player now : this is england

kenapa hidup mesti ada banyak keje? arrgghhh!!!

busy - busy - busy - keje banyak - kat opis - bos takder - gi sarawak - tghari - bos call - dari sarawak - "kusha, nanti awak tolong buat report student ye, then tgk la kalau ada borang permohonan yang datang. hari khamis saya balik tapi jumaat mungkin cuti kot. letih la. ok ye kusha!" - uhhh - nak buat report invois - report student - masuk meeting lagi - jawab call lagi - consult student lagi - uuuhhh - ni tak masuk keje fotografi lagi - nak edit lagi - nak select gambar lagi - nak hantar print lagi - aduhhh - sibuk je lebih - kaya ntah bila - "kusha! kau kata kau busy, tapi sempat lak tulis blog!" - kata2 dari seorang opismate yang baru je lalu kat sebelah ni tadi....


now playing : 'spain' by chick corea

when there's no money, art still there...

time saya tulis blog ni, lagu dari pink floyd - money tengah mengalir keluar dari speaker komputer saya. satu-satunya komputer yang ada tampal handyplast kat tepi monitor. ramai yang tanya, "kusha, komputer kau luka ker?" "a'ah tapi jangan tanya sakit apa, ok! dia ada penyakit tersendiri" saya jawab ringkas bagi menamatkan perbualan. kalau tak jawab camtu kang, 4379 soalan lagi akan keluar.

sebenarnya komputer tu tak luka, tak sakit. dia ok....cuma owner dia yang tengah sakit serakang ni...sakit takder duit...ya, saya tengah sengkek tuan-tuan dan puan-puan! bukan sengkek apa, saya tiada masalah dalam perbelanjaan menjalani kehidupan seharian, cuma dalam perniagaan suka-suka yang serius ni ha, agak sakit sikit nak rolling modal, modal pusingan ni terlalu berpusing-pusing macam pusar air kat bermuda triangle.

nature of business saya adalah fotografi, salah satu cabang dalam bidang seni jugak la kiranya. ok, fine, duit banyak sangkut kat client. jadi bila saya nak kos untuk production & upah editor, agak takder duit la nak bayar. ishhh...susah la camni...perjuangan, kehidupan harus diteruskan. semuanya demi sesuap nasi.... so, walaupun takder duit, perjuangan seni haruslah diteruskan jugak. when there's no money, art still there...

kelmarin saya dah terangkan kat orang yang sepatutnya saya bayar dalam mengeluarkan produk saya. saya terangkan kesemuanya dari a sampai za, zb,zc and on and on and on.....supaya dia dapat tahu keadaan sebenar. ye lah, secara automatik saya berasa malu la bila ada lagi payment yg saya tak dapat bayar walaupun dia cakap tak kisah.so, agak lega la sikit lepas explain kat dia dan jawapan yang diberikan pun memuaskan hati kesemua pihak. " x pe awak. x pe..kita faham. kita bkn ada nak guna duit pun now. don't worry ekh!"
tq awak! thank you very much! nasib baik lah awak ni jenis memahami.....


currently addicted to : wolfmother! wolfmother! and still wolfmother!

suatu disember dahulu

tadi - belek belek fail - tengok gambar lelama - teringat - suatu hari di disember dahulu - baru balik shooting - singgah tesco dulu - minum - table sebelah - ada budak kecik - pompuan - suka rambut dia - amik kamera - shoot - apa nak buat ngan gambar ni? - arini teringat balik - so, post lah!

currently addicted to : wolfmother (coz he's kinda like ozzy!)

kenyang tak hengat!

kul 6 - dlm train - balik keje - letih - lapar - ijad kol - ajak dinner - ngan lobai sekali - 3 orang - dtg amik - kat umah - gi makan - ss2 murni - tak penah pegi - makan marryland, mocktail 'i love u' - kenyang giler - terus balik - tido sampai pagi - tak engat! - bangun pagi - text ijad - "jad, best giler tmpt mkn yg kau bwk aku smlm. kenyang giler aku weih! blk umah jer terus tertido aku sampai pg ni ha!"
"khakhakhakha....aku tak tido lagi weih...ni tgh main futsal".... ijad reply....



-currently addicted to : wolfmother-

tiga lima ringgit

kul 11 - 2 jam lepas balik keje - hujan - terpaksa jalan gak - basah - tapi ok - best gak - tapi stokin basah - tak der stock lain dah - kena gi beli lain la - mana nak carik - kedai dah tutup - akhirnya jumpa gak - kat uptown - stokin 3 pasang 5 ringgit - 'saya beli ye bang...' - 'ye, abg jual, tima kasih, datang lagi' - (kena la datang lagi.....)

hey ho let's go!

this is the beginning - try to write - never in my life - writing down myself electronically - dunno how to do it - see how worst it will goes